7.16.2003
Kara is the coolest, and this is why...
Kara is friends with a band named League from Buffalo, New York; and yesterday she shared with me the prestiged pleasure of meeting them. They are the cutest, nicest, most fun guys in the world. Their music rocks my socks, and they're absolutley great to hang out with. After spending the evening with them, Kara and I were on a natural high. I'm really quite tired as we didn't get home until after 3 AM last night, so in order to fully describe the greatness of this band and their roadies, I will have to write about them again later on.
10:57 AM | Lisa
My blog is being weird and not loading correctly. Since I will be busy for the next couple days attending Summer Preview for Creighton, don't bother visiting the site.
There are a few new pictures up for now. I tried to scan more, but they weren't saving to the network for some reason. Hopefully, they should all be up after this weekend. Updates will be posted.
Happy Birthday to Tyffaney who turns 18 on Friday!!!
10:40 PM | Lisa
7.18.2003
Why does the world find it so unusual when a girl admits to indulging in a little self-gratification once in a while? Sex (of most kinds) is a beautiful and natural thing, and girls have just as much right to it as guys do. I admit to being perfectly normal, and everyone around me freaks out like I've just shouted something horrifically blasphemous throughout the Vatican. I think the real issue at hand is the fact that people get far too embarassed to talk about things that in the past were deemed socially unacceptable and down right nasty. I could not help but feel a littel uneasy when a friend of mine (I won't name names) was in the bathroom stall next to me, and she proceeded to tell me she was about to take "a huge dump." My embarassment soon turned to almost-falling-off-the-toilet laughter as she made the loudest fake fart noises I've ever heard. And she did indeed take a huge dump soon after. I wonder how many of you are scrunching up your faces thinking, "How gross! Why am I even reading this?" I know I've addressed this issue before, because I really don't think people should make such a big deal about what is a perfectly natural process. Sure it may have been inappropriate subject matter when your great-grandparents were dressing in their Sunday best's and having tea parties in the courtyard, but times, they are a-changing. The majority of the population has become far more liberal and loud-mouthed. Many of the same activities in which we participate today were prevalent back in the day; they were just kept more on the DL (DL = down and low for those of you with great-grandparents reading over your shoulders). Everybody has sex sooner or later. Everybody's been farting since they day they were born. And if you don't take a dump on a regular basis, that's just downright unhealthy. I think my only advice for you today is to be more understanding and open-minded of other people. If you drop your expectations of how a person should act, you'll be far less shocked or surprised when they do something that you might consider out of the ordinary. And hey, maybe you'll learn something new about yourself. And maybe you'll like it, too!
10:07 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
I am very angry at you! I visited your site (old site) and looked at the pictures from prom and graduation, and I think you are the only person on the planet that could make me miss Mercy. very, very, very angry.
Love Gina
Gina, again | 7.19.03 - 5:52pm
Our Little Girl is All Grown Up
I attended the Summer Preview program at Creighton these last two days. It was a very enjoyable experience, and I would recommend all you underclassmen to look into similar sorts of programs being offered at your prospective colleges and universities. Not only did I meet tons of new people and make some cool friends, but I also learned a lot of information that I could not have acquired on the school website or in their monthly newsletter. I wasn't really looking forward to going to college until now. Today I found out I gained AP Calculus credit, allowing me to drop my Applied Mathematics course, skip Intro to Mass Communication (with a lovely little waiver from my advisor), and go straight into News Reporting. I must say that has definitely lifted my spirits and erased my worries about attending school this fall. I didn't get any credit on my other AP tests of course, because I spent most of that time doodling in the back of the books and coming up with limericks about where they could put their brain-crushing AP tests. I kinda wish I was living on campus with all my friends, but I think I can still make the most of it and get involved. Most of my classes are in the afternoon or evening, and I think this may be a good thing. If I do my homework in the mornings, I don't have to worry about falling asleep with my face in my book and learning through osmosis. And this semester I will do my homework. Promise. Back to Summer Preview... It allowed me to spend some time with some of my old friends that I hadn't seen in a while (namely, Candice). My first serious boyfriend was there as well. In years past, we never liked him much. Neither did our friends. Especially Candice. But every time I turned around, there he was, discussing with her the many different ways one can hurt people with a single judo chop. They both share a love of martial arts. And as I learned, there is no such thing as a judo chop in marital arts. He turned out to be a nice guy for the most part. But after an hour of talking to him, you realize he's still a total jackball sometimes. I wouldn't mind becoming his friend (he's one of three ex-boyfriends I never see or talk to), but I can't see myself hanging out with him on the weekends. Actually, my brother just told me that another ex of mine, David, will also be attending Creighton. Golly gee, I'm so lucky! I'm not worried though. There's over 900 students in my freshman class, and should I ever run into these boys, I've learned to compose myself with maturity. So those of you who live vicariously through my blog and me, get yourselves excited because we're grown up and goin' to college. Woot!
10:09 PM | Lisa
I am Seventeen, Going on Eighteen
I wonder if it's the joy of meeting a new person, or the development of a small crush that makes me like talking to the one-hour photo guy from Wal*Mart. He's 28 years old and looks a bit like an Arian Jesus. He's a complete computer nerd and has a daughter that is half my age. It's probably not appropriate for me to be developing a relationship with him, even if it's as harmless as a friendship. But it's really nice to have someone around to talk to that is on a somewhat higher level of intelligence than the rest of my friends. It's nice to converse with someone whose hobbies to not include hanging out with their buddies at the local mall. Not that the mall isn't fun, but I've always found pleasure in making friends with people older than me. They seem to understand me a little better than most. I'm one of those girls who's always wishing she was older than she was, always crushing on "older men," and always trying to act more mature than everyone else (except in the privacy of my local mall). I'm so hopeless sometimes.
10:50 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
Help me, is the new blogger really confusing or am I just a jackass? I hope its the 1st one, I have a serious craving to speak my mind but I''m too retarded to figure it out, HELP!!!!!!!!
Gina, again | 7.19.03 - 6:35 pm
Yes... The new Blogger IS the complete jackass. They say it''s supposed to be more ''user-friendly.'' Bah! Email any questions you have. Bryan wants me to come over to his house and show him all sorts of stuff. I can do the same for you. Just let me know when.
Lisa | 7.19.03 - 9:28 pm
Heil Jesus
doesn't matter | 7.22.03 - 12:27 pm
7.19.2003
June archives are up for your loading convenience.
3:51 PM | Lisa
7.20.2003
Where can I make a decent amount of money without working 60 hours a week? I need to get a new job. Baker's isn't giving me nearly enough hours, even if it's as a crappy cashier (which I did NOT apply for). Creighton is the most expensive university in the state. I already pay for everything myself, excluding house/utilities bills, a few groceries, and toilet paper. Now that we only have one income that is considerably less than it was before the dipshits at my dad's old work let the business fall through, I also have to try and help pay for college. All my uber-rich friends have parents who are doctors or own their own restaurants. No wonder life seems easier for them.
9:45 AM | Lisa
Dear Abby, Part 2
Does anyone know of a decent general practitioner around here? I hate to admit the fact that I'm nine days away from being 18, and I still go to a pediatrician. Waiting for half an hour or more in a waiting room full of crying babies and shouting toddlers causes a bigger headache than the one I had coming in. And due to my family's cancer-filled health history, I really need to get a mammogram. Pediatricians certainly don't offer this at their offices. Almost none of their patients even have boobs! I'm not looking forward to some stranger squeezing my breasts with a huge clamp, but it needs to be done. Does anyone know where I can go?
9:50 AM | Lisa
Well folks, now it looks like my dad is going to take my car away. I must be doing something wrong here. If I don't have a car, I can't keep my jobs. Tyffaney was supposed to ask her uncle about selling me a car for a pretty reasonable price, but I don't think she's really looked into it. I know he's going to help her friend Andrew, but that's about it. I wouldn't mind paying for a new car. I have a fair amount of money to use as a down payment, and if I had to make car payments every month, it would definitely regulate my personal spending, which is just what I need. I think I should also set aside some money each month for tuition to help out my dad. If I want to accomplish all this, I'm going to have to save face and ask for money when I need it. Normally, if I need anything from new socks to tampons to school supplies to lunch and dinner, I usually pay for it myself. I guess it wouldn't hurt to spend my earned money on more important necessities like school and a car. This is the part of becoming a grown up I'm really starting to dread.
9:21 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
either way, I have confidence that you can do this.
Jon | 7.20.03 - 11:58 pm
7.21.2003
You are a Pig! You are fun to be with and you absoutely LOVE food. And you enjoy life! :)
What Farm Animal Are You?
Yay for self-confidence (or, thanks to this quiz, lack thereof)!
2:04 AM | Lisa
For All You Peaceniks Out There
Yeah, we went to war. It sucked. People died. Our country got what it wanted, but it paid a heavy price. Do we really need to keep it going? I think not. The Bush Administration is meeting here in Omaha in a couple weeks to plan the proliferation of new weapons of mass destruction. What?! I think we're powerful enough as is. Do we really need to create more weapons, which will only lead to someone's death? Quite frankly, I think it's a bit scary to think about. We engaged in war in order to curtail the building of WMD in other countries. Now we want to go hypocritical on their asses and build more of our own? That's pure crap. Maybe I'm all fired up about the government because I just watched "The Majestic." Or maybe I really do feel strongly about this. I don't know yet. But here's my chance to find out: http://www.sos2003.com. Maybe I'll see you there.
2:33 PM | Lisa
In the Words of Anti...
First watch this.
Then look at this.
Stubbornism is a tough life to lead.
7:53 PM | Lisa
In the Style of Raymi...
Plus a Little Bit of Me
Today I ate Easy Mac for breakfast at I don't know what time but it was sometime in the afternoon because it was not long after that Trading Spaces came on. I cleaned out my car. There is always a lot of stuff in my car. Loads of trash and other funky memorabilia. Then I tried cleaning my room. It was a deep clean like the kind that facial cleansers give to your pores except my room does not have any pores just a window and a door. I emptied three moving boxes and filled one tub and half of a large trash can. The tub is full of things that I no longer want, and I am willing to give them away. The Slaydens have first dibs as promised. What is not taken will probably be dropped off at Goodwill because they sell a lot of cool stuff. Actually there is a photo album in the tub that I bought from Goodwill for approximately 59 cents. I think it would be funny to see it end up there again like the Cirlce of Life except there is no real life because a photo album is an inanimate object that Raymi might refer to as "meow meow." I don't really know Raymi or Anti but I know they are dating and they both keep blogs and I stumbled onto these blogs when I was surfing the internet at two in the morning because I have insomnia. My dad came home while I was cleaning my room but he did not bug me or anything which was nice because I had and still have a lot of work to do. I think I will be able to get it done this week because I don't have to work again until Thursday which sucks because my money runs out faster than my air supply. Gee, I hope that doesn't run out anytime soon. I took a break from cleaning and went downstairs and washed my hands because I was all dusty and smelly. Well actually I didn't smell that bad because I sprayed some perfume that I wore a long time ago and it reminded me of my life way back when and reminiscing is very pleasant for me. I made a salad for dinner and it had black olives and croutons and caesar dressing. I really like black olives. I like to put them on my fingertips and suck them off one at a time except I didn't do that this time because I bought pre-sliced olives because I don't like whole olives in my salads. I don't like pre-made salads like the kinds at restaurants because I am very meticulous and I have to break up each piece of lettuce until it is bite size so I don't get dressing all over my face when I go to take a bite with a fork. After dinner I made myself two Shirley Temples in a stolen martini glass which is ironic because I wasn't making martinis and as far as you know I didn't put any alcohol in my Shirley Temples. I got a letter from the AP people telling me what I already knew about my AP tests that I took in May but did not care to take. I munched on some cheez-its and told my dad he should be a gigolo because he could probably make good money even if it was from a pruny old grandma or a lady with no teeth and a mullet but he said no thanks. My brother did not join in this conversation because he is out of town for the week at a boy scout camp and thank goodness the month-long heat wave is dying down because they make the boys do manual labor out there and it would suck if someone passed out from heatstroke. My arm has been hurting all day because I slept funny and now I am sore and I really hate it when that happens. I'm not quite sure what I want to do with the rest of my day but I know I don't want to go out in public because I have acne and I am too lazy to put any makeup on or even drive my car. Maybe I will just dye my hair or something, who knows? I suppose if someone tried really hard they could persuade me to leave the house. As I was telling Tony, I would really like to just float around in the air for a bit like on a cloud but without going outside and he thought I wanted to get high but I said no I have never been high thank you very much. I just want to float.
8:02 PM | Lisa
I am Inspired. I Like to Write.
I am Naughty. I like The Cosby Show. I like Cheez-Its dipped in Chocolate.
I am Lazy. I do not like Hot Weather. I do not like High Heels.
I am Silly. I like to Read. I like to Sing.
I am Adorable. I do not like to Lose Raffles. I do not like Lip Gloss.
I am Intelligent. I like Lots of Mirrors. I like to Drive Fast.
9:20 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
I also like lengthy comments. Please share them with me.
Lisa | 7.21.03 - 11:51 pm
"Ah, the bittersweet nectar of the world's hatred..." she moaned as she sipped her grenadine.
I do believe I'm going to be ill.
i do not like it when people do not answer my questions i like it when people tell me the truth even if i lie to them in return i like it when people fall in love with me and i play them like a fiddle and i flirt with them when i want to and they give all their attention to me and i wonder if it is because i am a leo or if it is because i am purely evil so even if my heart belongs to someone else and i am completely and utterly in love with him to the point of obsession it is still nice to have someone around to play with because i get lonely here without him and it's not like i am doing anything terribly wrong because i exercise enough self control to remain faithful but sometimes it is nice to feel affection from another when you so rarely see it and i wish i could tell the world the truth but i could never do that at least not for quite some time because then everything would be ruined and i would not get what i want which is desperately to be happy and there is only one way i can see that happening so please help me be strong and upbeat and patient and let life work out in the end because thats all we really want from the world
11:11 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
you are a little sociopath, yep I got some of that in me also and for the same reason…really the cosby show? I like this, your blog I mean, how you write.
Gabe | 7.22.03 - 12:14 am
I''ll take that as a compliment. Thank you. I''ve been trying some different writing styles today. It''s been fun. Who are you?
Lisa |7.22.03 - 12:19 am
7.22.2003
I'm seven days away from being 18 and I'm not excited about it at all. My movie rental is almost a week late and I'm not in the mood to return it. The store called me with their automated guilt trip reminding me just how late my movie was and I told it to go fuck itself. I woke up late again, sat around waiting for Trading Spaces to come on, and made myself sick from too many Cheezits and Shirley Temples. We're out of Easy Mac, so I had to skip breakfast. I wonder how fast I'd be dead if I were living on my own because my diet really sucks and the only exercise I get is walking downstairs to the tv or upstairs to my computer. But I really don't give a shit about any of it right now. I'm getting too much sleep and I love it. I sang my heart out in the shower knowing that I'll never be a rock star or anything of the sort. I'm wearing both jeans and a dress today. If the girl at Java Joe's could pull it off, well fuck! So can I! The tag on my thong is making my ass itch, and my tongue is stained red with grenadine. I agreed to switch schedules with a girl at work because I could use the money, but for what I'm not sure yet. I'm staring at a puzzle piece I stole from Nick. Now he'll never be able to finish his Simpsons Mosaic. Muah ha ha ha. My Bobble-Head Jack is the coolest thing that ever kicked your ass, and just when I start to wonder what I ever saw in him, I fall in love with Seth all over again. He's never terribly romantic and scoffs at anything mushy. We have nothing in common. We just know how to put up with each other. He's an ass sometimes, but I wouldn't want him any other way. I think I will become a professional karaoke singer when I grow up. According to the majority, I grow up in seven days. I'm so not ready...
5:04 PM | Lisa
Have you ever heard the song "Meet Virginia" by Train? I wish someone would write a song like that about me.
5:09 PM | Lisa
7.23.2003
Election 2003 - Cast Your Vote!
Okay folks, it's time for a contest. Bryan and I, out of our insomnia-prompted boredom, went hard to work at designing a new title image for the site. There will be a contest to see who likes which one better. I suppose this will also let me know just how many people actually visit this site. The poll will be up for say...two weeks? Or until I get bored with it. Anyway, here are the two images. The poll is in the sidebar. Start voting!!
9:43 AM | Lisa
Yes, I realize the comment feature is down, but there's really nothing I can do about it. Be patient and I'm sure it will be up and running soon. Meanwhile, get your vote on!
P.S. Could somebody tape Trading Spaces for me? I have to work today.
(Just kidding. I'm not that obsessive.)
12:18 PM | Lisa
7.24.2003
last night.....lisa dreamed.....that she.....was dating.....a clown.
she also found.....her only pair.....of plain.....white.....underwear.
what.....a fucking.....weirdo.
10:57 AM | Lisa
7.25.2003
If the Klink Family doesn't get their act together, I'm going to have to switch over to HaloScan which will totally mess up my archives and any possible sequel to Phresh Phish (should that ever get edited and published). Things you can do to make me feel better: 1) IM me with comments - maybe I'll post them, 2) link me in your profile, on your website, whatnot - it looks like I could use some more publicity, 3) Get your vote on!
P.S. Little Debbie Grosses Me Out......A Lot
8:44 AM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
you are a link in my profile dude
Jacq | 07.25.03 - 4:35 pm
Woot! Guess who just got offered a job? If you didn't guess me, you're an idiot. As you all know I clean my dentist's office once a week. I was thinking about quitting Baker's when school starts, and Mina (dentist/boss) offered me a part-time job as her dental assistant. We'd be able to work around my class schedule, I'd probably get paid more, and I'd enjoy the job. It would include stuff like filing, sterilizing instruments, mixing materials, etc. It'd be a job I'd brag about :) Yeah so, let's hope my schedules don't conflict and I can get this job.
Baker's is already pissing me off - they scheduled me on my birthday, they scheduled me on Friday (which is the one day a week I told them I could not work), they scheduled me on Saturday, meaning I can't go to my cousin's birthday dinner. Blah. Maybe I can get Jackie to switch with me. I switched with her, after all. She owes me. I'll only miss my co-worker's. The rest of Baker's sucks.
12:29 PM | Lisa
Have no fear, Lisa is here!
She saves the day once again with her new comment feature. What an outstanding character! Show her the love by voicing your opinions much more often than you already do. She saw blogs get 40 comments on one entry! We can't let her down, can we? (Insert sound of crowd shouting "No!" here) That's right, men. Get the guts to say something.
Howfuckingcheesywasthat?
Leave your comments already.
Yeezus.
4:13 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
Just checkin
it out.
Lisa | 07.25.03 - 4:20 pm
you go girlie fly!!!!
Anonymous | 07.25.03 - 4:38 pm
John 3:16
Kilroy | 7.25.2003 - 7:11 pm
hello lisa l love you. just thought i would let you know that.
tyffaney | 07.25.03 - 8:27 pm
whoever said girlie fly rocks
Anonymous | 07.25.03 - 10:42 pm
7.26.2003
Last night was Tyffaney's surprise birthday party. We held it a week later than her birthday because all her friends were in the Dominican Republic last week. It was a lot of fun. I got to watch back-to-back episodes of "While You Were Out" - the Trading Spaces spinoff. And the present that I made her was the coolest. I painted a bulletin board (cause I'm really artsy) and covered it in tons of pictures of her and her friends. I'm telling you, it was the coolest! I got to see Bryan again, which was really nice. I wish I would have spent more time with him this summer now that we don't really hate each other and all. I went and hung out with Jacqueline which was really nice because she's like my biggest blog fan and I haven't really seen her since we graduated. We'll definitely be hanging out again because Jacq, you rock!
Because I walk around in flip-flops and I spent five years of my life walking barefoot on the cement pool deck for swim team, my feet are less than perfect. Basically they're just like, rough n' stuff. Which is normal, I guess. I put on some foot cream to make them and soft and silky and nice (whatever) and now my feet totally feel tingly. It's the coolest.
Fact: The skin on your feet is up to 50 times thicker than the skin on the rest of your body.
10:53 AM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
what did you do to your comments?how bout pee on an electric fence?
never did it but saw it once, that has got to be the worst.
gabe | 07.26.03 - 7:40 pm
I am thinking witty catch phrase and the pic of the kid peeing into the wind but that was not an option.
gabe | 07.26.03 - 7:43 pm
Holy Mother of....!!!
(aka "Crisis in the Kitchen")
Lisa almost burned down her new house tonight....
You all know what a huge fan of Easy Mac I am, despite how gross it actually can be. I came home from work, starving. However, we were out of Easy Mac, so I had to go with the normal kind - stovetop. You also know that I am a Trading Spaces junkie. So while immersed in an episode with some of my favorite designers, I totally forgot about the macaroni cooking on the stove! Doh!! I didn't realize it until I smelled smoke creeping into the living room from the kitchen. "Holy Mother of.... I'm such an idiot!" I turned on all the fans I could find and opened all the windows and doors. Surprisingly enough, no smoke alarms went off. Yuck... I can still smell burned noodle, and I'm all the way upstairs. Actually, it was more than burned noodle. It should have been called "Macaroni andCheese Charcoal." I took pictures to show you just how gross it was. I tried scrubbing the pan and bleaching it and using the most elbow grease you've ever seen. Luckily I'm still alive, the cat is still alive, and my dad didn't get angry when he came home.
Fact: I have the strongest right arm in the entire world, which can be ideal in times of crisis.
9:02 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
hey dude. sorry about the mac and cheese tragedy. for any loss of food IS a tragedy. Later
candi | 07.27.03 - 12:35 am
7.27.2003
2:35 AM and my house still smells like burned shit. Nastay.
"The Breakfast Club" rocked! You guys have got to go to these shows. It's not your normal movie-going experience. People shout at the screen and stuff, but you LIKE it. I saw a bunch of Mercy girls there. During the lipstick scene I shouted down front to Maggie R. because...
Sophomore year we were in choir together, and we were getting ready for a performance. Maggie always wears lots of icky gooey lipstick, lipgloss, lip junk, whatever. She put some on, but we were about to go on. She had no pockets in her dress so she just stuck the lipstick down into her cleavage thinking it would be safe there until after we finished singing and dancing. Well it turned out we still had another five or ten minutes to go, so we started talking again. I looked down and realized Maggie's lipstick was sticking right out of her cleavage for all to see. "Uh Maggie...You might wanna ditch that before we go on." She laughed at the memory when I yelled at her from the back of the theater.
I went to the movie with my cousin Kate who is only four days younger than me (so Happy Birthday Kate!). I'm really glad I got to see her because we really haven't seen each other since Christmas or Easter or some sort of holiday, and I might not be able to make it to her birthday dinner. :( She's definitely someone you should know because there's just too many good qualities to her and you can only hope that some of them might rub off on you.
I was talking to my in-town stalker, Dave Bagby, tonight. I told him to quit being such a dork. I see him everywhere I go. "I'm not a stalker, I swear!" Yeah, right. Who do I see not one hour later at the same movie as me?? Dave Gag-me. You know, I really wouldn't mind being his friend or anything, but sometimes the stuff he says just really annoys the hell out of me. I dunno. I guess it is somewhat flattering to have a stalker....even if he's in denial.
P.S. The schedule for my weekly movie ventures is now posted in the sidebar. Feel free to join me anytime! :)
2:37 AM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
holler! i loathe chick flicks too
Kat | 07.27.03 - 2:41 am
I like tenenbums and rushmore and bottle rockets I. I don't know how but I missed the movie list until just now.
gabe | 07.27.03 - 10:46 pm
Am I Worthy?
I am a thief. No a copycat. No a borrower. I don't know! If I see a good idea that works, why not use it for myself? It's not like I claim credit for the original thought, right? Yeah so fuck it. Anyway, according to HumanForSale.com, I am worth exactly $1,684,860.00. Looking at some of the most expensive people listed, and comparing them to some of the greatest geniuses of our time, I think somebody lied about their IQ. The point is to be honest with yourself. I'm far from perfect, and I'm not afraid to admit my faults. I'm a screwup. I'm a showoff. I'm overweight. I'm impatient. I'm lethargic. I waste my money. I procrastinate. I am selfish. I don't give a damn. But you know what? I'm also attractive, funny, smart, creative, generous, outgoing, brave, compassionate and talented. I'm annoying, but you can't help falling in love with me. So fuck it, right?
2:34 PM | Lisa
Amen to That!
"And now, a word to the wired: E-mail is no excuse for lousy English.
Granted, virtual writing is usually more informal than writing in the "real" world. But informal doesn't mean incoherent -- or it shouldn't. Unfortunately, much of the writing you see in cyberspace (and e-mail isn't the only culprit) barely qualifies as English. The words are chosen with little or no thought. The grammar is a mess. The punctuation is either absent or in your face. As for spelling, it's hit-or-miss -- usually miss. No wonder the whole point of an e-mail is often lost in transmission.
Don't bother rounding up the usual suspects. Even people who are normally careful about their English may throw the rules out the window when they go online. Maybe they don't think of e-mail as writing. Maybe they don't realize that good English is just as important online as off.
In fact, misunderstandings are more likely in an e-mail than in a letter or a phone call or a face-to-face conversation. The speed, the brevity, the disengagement of online writing all conspire to muddle your message. And the short attention span of the wired reader only makes things worse.
What's more, the virtual world is full of strangers, people who know you only by your words. Sure your best friend will overlook a few misspellings or lapses in grammar. But people you've never met will judge you solely by what they see on their computer screens. To them, you are what you write.
In short, online writing needs all the help it can get. Good English is clear English. It's efficient, precise, sensible, economical, sometimes even beautiful. And that's just as true in e-mail as it is in snail mail -- or any other kind of writing.
E-mail that's hard to understand -- ambiguous, poorly worded, misspelled, unpunctuated -- takes only an instant to send but forever to decipher. So e-mail unto others as you would have them e-mail unto you.
That means you don't call time-out when you log on. Such niceties as grammar spelling, and punctuation do matter online, plus a few more besides. Here are some things for the wired writer to consider before clicking Send...."
~ Patricia T. O'Conner, Woe Is I
6:01 PM | Lisa
Due to some freak allergic reaction, I have now covered the majority of my body in Benadryl Gel. I have what looks like a million bug bites, and they all itch like crazy. Let us hope I don't scratch myself to embarassment at work.
7:10 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
hey! cool blog! i know how you feel that happened to me last week. not cool!! hopefully it'll end soon.
Kena | 07.27.03 - 7:15 pm
that's what I am taling about
I like that,
I have an eye that is a rollover to for navigation is you what it
gabe | 07.27.03 - 10:41 pm
I do not understand what you just typed.
But I'm sure it was profound...somehow
Lisa | 07.28.03 - 12:04 pm
7.28.2003
I fucking hate chocolate. I hate candy bars with chocolate. I hate chocolate ice cream. I hate chocolate syrup and chocolate sprinkles and chocolate pudding. I only like chocolate milk. And even then, I'm very picky about the brand. I can't stand the thought of all that concentrated sugar settling down onto my teeth, causing massive cavities and unbelievable pain. I don't know how to end this paragraph, but I really just felt like shouting that I HATE CHOCOLATE!!!
Except I can't shout because everyone is asleep and I am just that nice.
1:04 AM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
I happen to sort of like chocolate, but I don't like milk chocolate at least not right now as a silly vegan.
Jon | 07.28.03 - 2:32 am
you are NOT a vegan!!!
You keep cheating and quite frankly it is an unhealthy lifestyle.
You were born an omnivore,
so act like one already.
Lisa | 07.28.03 - 10:05 am
you know, maybe that freaky "allergic reaction" is due to the fact that your body is chocolate deficient! you could melt it and suck it through a straw... then it wouldn't affect your pearly whites so much
I just can't imagine a life without chocolate
candi | 07.28.03 - 11:47 am
are you suggesting I start eating meat again or something, silly woman?
Jon | 07.29.03 - 12:15 am
ermmmm, I take that back, I think I'm done with being vegan
Jon | 07.29.03 - 7:00 pm
Naked. Wet. Covered in suds.
That's a phrase I stole from Jess because it creates imagery, and in Creative Writing I learned that imagery is a good thing.
Today during my shower a big, black spider fell down from the ceiling right in front of me and landed on the porcelain floor. The proximity of the creepy creature to my naked, slippery body was not at all pleasant. After futile attempts to drown the sucker I finally squished it with a washcloth.
When I was a kid my dad told me that it is not right to kill bugs when they are outside because that is their home, and they're really not hurting anything. But when they invade your home, it is every man or bug or man-bug hybrid (See "The Fly" starring Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis) for himself.
I do not need any more itchy bug bites right now. I am covered in red spots and I cannot stop scratching them and I feel like dying, but not really because I am not yet ready to die. The thought of death before one has lived a considerably full life saddens me.
12:38 PM | Lisa
What my world needs now, besides love, sweet love
Today is my Aunt Deanna's birthday. Tomorrow is my birthday. Normally I don't have wish lists because I buy everything for myself. But just in case some of you out there desperately want to get me something, here's a list of stuff I could think of off the top of my head. Maybe it'll serve as my future shopping list. I put down prices 'n' stuff, but I really don't expect anything except a smile or an e-mail. Yeah so...whatever.
Lisa's Birthday Wish List
-- A haircut by Monique, $11 at Capitol
--A drawing board, $25 at Dick Blick
-- Light up shoes for adults, size 9, $20 at Walmart
-- A digital camera or webcam, prices vary
-- A computer desk, $60 at Target
-- The matching file cabinet, also at Target
-- Picture frames, $3-20 at Hobby Lobby
-- Clear thumbtacks, $2 wherever
-- "Circle of Friends" correspondance book, $10 at Borders
-- Sprial CD tower, $10 at Target
-- Various CD's of course
-- Black and white postcards, $1.25 somewhere downtown
--A tank of gas, $20 at Kum-&-Go
--A cup of coffee, $3 at Starbucks
-- Funny cards with heartfelt messages, $.99 at Walgreens
-- NO smelly stuff, it will be given away
3:06 PM | Lisa
I am a listmaker. I make lists for anything and everything. I stick these lists in huge piles of papers and files and folders in hopes of separating and going through important paperwork. However, the lists hide in the piles for months and months only to be rediscovered six months later and subsequently stuck into another disorganized pile to be sorted through later.
Reasons Why I Am Broke This Week:
- Woe is I by Patricia T. O'Conner
- Writers on Writing: Collected Essays from The New York Times
- A Girl, In Parts by Jasmine Paul
- Erotica Universalis, Volume II by Gilles Néret
- The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
- Ice Hair Spiker Colorz in "Tar Black" and "Trip'd Out Pink"
- An 8"x10" artist canvas
- Two 8"x10" artist canvas panels
- Two Blick Academic synthetic paint brushes
- A set of 10 pressed charcoal sticks
- The unabridged edition of Gray's Anatomy to aid in life drawing
7:06 PM | Lisa
7.29.2003
The Big One Eight
Today is my birthday and I am not terribly excited. The first person to say Happy Birthday to me was Brian N. because we were at the movies around midnight. He is back in town for only a short while and I wanted to spend some time with him before he left again. I have always had a small crush on him, but I've never let it get in the way of our friendship. He's a great guy and I'm lucky to have him as a friend. We spiked his hair black for camouflage's sake because after seeing "Bad Boys II" we went TPing. I am so good at TPing. Juvenile as it was, I had a lot of fun. Despite the artist in me, I had forgotten how much I love action movies. I don't really know what else to say. I'm 18. I did not buy cigarettes at the store. I did not make a visit to Dr. John's Adult Emporium. I did not register to vote. I woke up late and watched HBO for an hour. The house was empty and I did not even get so much as a post-it note on the fridge saying "Happy Birthday." I'm feeling very blasé about the whole matter really. Seth had better call me tonight though, because he is one person I do expect to wish me a 'Happy Birthday' and hopefully an 'I love you,' too.
11:38 AM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
Happy Birthday!
Jon | 07.29.03 - 6:59 pm
When I turned 18 6 months ago, I decided to become a pedofile!
Bryan | 07.31.03 - 12:29 pm
Of all the days to be "sulky" why did it have to be today? I'm supposed to be enjoying my birthday, yet here I am sitting in my room with nothing to do but surf the internet. Doesn't anyone care that today is supposed to be my special day? Where the fuck is MY surprise party? Or what about all those times you say, "Oh yeah, we should definitely hang out sometime!" Well here's you're big fucking chance and you're blowing it. It's not like I'm asking you to spend all your money on me. I just don't deserve to be sitting around by myself. It's a milestone in my life and no one gives a damn. Well you know what? You all can just go fuck yourselves, and the next time you need something from me, don't bother asking. I'm sick of being there for everyone and never getting anything in return.
I feel like shit.
8:59 PM | Lisa
7.30.2003
Typical Day With A Twist
Went to Mina's today. Things are looking up as far as this new job goes. Hope it stays that way. I worked at Baker's pretty much all day, and though I don't completely hate it, a change would be nice. And anything to stay away from those awful new uniforms. Blech.
Created a new character today. Actually, I took an old doodle and drew a bunch of different facial expressions and sidekick characters. It could be a pretty kickass comic if I decide to continue putting effort into it.
Started painting on canvas today. It was a first for me. I copied the style of Drew, but at least I'm giving him props. I'd show you guys a picture, but my scanner is down.
Does anyone know if my dad still reads this blog? I'd like to know if I still have to watch what I say on here. I've got plenty to talk about, but some of it just can't be mentioned in the presence of authority figures.
Um, yeah....
7.31.2003
Last night I discovered that I am not having an allergic reaction at all. Instead, I have a million plus two chigger bites. It's my fault really since I laid down in Jacq's backyard one night. Smart move dumbass.
People keep asking me if I feel any older now that I've turned 18. At first I didn't, but after last night I guess I do a tiny bit. I went to see my friend Tim, but I didn't leave my house until sometime after midnight. I felt older for doing my own thing, even in the late hours of the night. I felt like a kid when I lied to my dad about where I was. I didn't do anything illegal or immoral, yet I still lied. I'm such a fuck.
I watched "Top Secret," which is probably the dumbest movie I have ever seen, but it was still pretty funny. I'm sure it's a film Val Kilmer would like to erase from his record.
I learned how to make fractals....sort of. They are pretty trippy, but as long as you have a good color scheme, just about every design is aesthetically pleasing.
I also compared sketches with Tim. He is a much better artist than I am, but I still think I am pretty good. I was thinking about creating an album for my artwork, but until our scanner starts working again, there will be no images for quite some time.
12:04 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
i cheated your poll so i could win too, BONG!
Bryan | 07.31.03 - 12:45 pm
Lisa has proven to be a censor, taking my right away to comment on her blog, i feel this takes away from the spontanaity of the site.
Bryan | 07.31.03 - 1:58 pm
I only deleted some of the disgusting comments you posted because you made my blog look like a joke, and to me it is not .
Reading everyone else's blog, I see tons of relevant comments from people who have something to say other than "Sould I worry if I start bleeding uncontrollably from my anus?"
Thanks, but no thanks.
Lisa | 07.31.03 - 5:15 pm
I changed up the site a little bit. I played with "Eye Candy," making each pic a link to a relevant or just plain cool website for all you boredom-smothered duds out there. I know of two people who will visit each and every site. Everyone else will just blow it off because, well, that's what you guys seem to do. Admittedly, and pathetic as it is, I put more effort into making this site fun for you guys than for myself. But yeah... Updates are around.
6:54 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
You really spruced this site up.Good job
p.s. sorry bout all your bug bites
Jacq | 08.01.03 - 1:41 pm
I reeeeeally want to get my hair cut. I picked out a style, and my hair has been dyed a purplish reddish thingamacolor. So will someone please lend me $15 and an hour of free time? And someone tell 'Monique' to get her ass back in town from Colorado. I'm dying here.
8:43 PM | Lisa
In Reference to Chocolate Easter Bunnies
The Bunny, the Bunny... Whoa, I ate the Bunny.
I didn't eat my soup or my bread, just the Bunny.
The Bunny, the Bunny... Oh! I love the Bunny.
But now I feel sick in the head from the Bunny.
I didn't eat my salad; I didn't eat my steak.
I had too much candy, got a tummy ache!
I need to eat good food to help me to grow.
I'll obey my momma, 'cause she loves me so.
Yeah, I'll go to church. And I'll go to school.
That stuff is important and I ain't no fool!
I don't want no pickles, I don't want no honey,
I just want a plate and a fork and a Bunny.
I don't want a tissue when my nose is runny,
I just want a plate and a fork and a Bunny.
I don't want to tell you a joke that is funny,
I just want a plate and a fork and a Bunny.
I don't want to play on a day that is sunny,
I just want a plate and a fork and a Bunny.
"Veggie Tales" so rules.
9:30 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
hey lisa babe, i have that episode on VHS, you should come over some time and watch it, i love veggietales
Bryan | 08.01.03 - 5:23 pm
Nope, I dont read your blog
Dad | 08.01.03 - 9:54 pm
Kara is the coolest, and this is why...
Kara is friends with a band named League from Buffalo, New York; and yesterday she shared with me the prestiged pleasure of meeting them. They are the cutest, nicest, most fun guys in the world. Their music rocks my socks, and they're absolutley great to hang out with. After spending the evening with them, Kara and I were on a natural high. I'm really quite tired as we didn't get home until after 3 AM last night, so in order to fully describe the greatness of this band and their roadies, I will have to write about them again later on.
10:57 AM | Lisa
My blog is being weird and not loading correctly. Since I will be busy for the next couple days attending Summer Preview for Creighton, don't bother visiting the site.
There are a few new pictures up for now. I tried to scan more, but they weren't saving to the network for some reason. Hopefully, they should all be up after this weekend. Updates will be posted.
Happy Birthday to Tyffaney who turns 18 on Friday!!!
10:40 PM | Lisa
7.18.2003
Why does the world find it so unusual when a girl admits to indulging in a little self-gratification once in a while? Sex (of most kinds) is a beautiful and natural thing, and girls have just as much right to it as guys do. I admit to being perfectly normal, and everyone around me freaks out like I've just shouted something horrifically blasphemous throughout the Vatican. I think the real issue at hand is the fact that people get far too embarassed to talk about things that in the past were deemed socially unacceptable and down right nasty. I could not help but feel a littel uneasy when a friend of mine (I won't name names) was in the bathroom stall next to me, and she proceeded to tell me she was about to take "a huge dump." My embarassment soon turned to almost-falling-off-the-toilet laughter as she made the loudest fake fart noises I've ever heard. And she did indeed take a huge dump soon after. I wonder how many of you are scrunching up your faces thinking, "How gross! Why am I even reading this?" I know I've addressed this issue before, because I really don't think people should make such a big deal about what is a perfectly natural process. Sure it may have been inappropriate subject matter when your great-grandparents were dressing in their Sunday best's and having tea parties in the courtyard, but times, they are a-changing. The majority of the population has become far more liberal and loud-mouthed. Many of the same activities in which we participate today were prevalent back in the day; they were just kept more on the DL (DL = down and low for those of you with great-grandparents reading over your shoulders). Everybody has sex sooner or later. Everybody's been farting since they day they were born. And if you don't take a dump on a regular basis, that's just downright unhealthy. I think my only advice for you today is to be more understanding and open-minded of other people. If you drop your expectations of how a person should act, you'll be far less shocked or surprised when they do something that you might consider out of the ordinary. And hey, maybe you'll learn something new about yourself. And maybe you'll like it, too!
10:07 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
I am very angry at you! I visited your site (old site) and looked at the pictures from prom and graduation, and I think you are the only person on the planet that could make me miss Mercy. very, very, very angry.
Love Gina
Gina, again | 7.19.03 - 5:52pm
Our Little Girl is All Grown Up
I attended the Summer Preview program at Creighton these last two days. It was a very enjoyable experience, and I would recommend all you underclassmen to look into similar sorts of programs being offered at your prospective colleges and universities. Not only did I meet tons of new people and make some cool friends, but I also learned a lot of information that I could not have acquired on the school website or in their monthly newsletter. I wasn't really looking forward to going to college until now. Today I found out I gained AP Calculus credit, allowing me to drop my Applied Mathematics course, skip Intro to Mass Communication (with a lovely little waiver from my advisor), and go straight into News Reporting. I must say that has definitely lifted my spirits and erased my worries about attending school this fall. I didn't get any credit on my other AP tests of course, because I spent most of that time doodling in the back of the books and coming up with limericks about where they could put their brain-crushing AP tests. I kinda wish I was living on campus with all my friends, but I think I can still make the most of it and get involved. Most of my classes are in the afternoon or evening, and I think this may be a good thing. If I do my homework in the mornings, I don't have to worry about falling asleep with my face in my book and learning through osmosis. And this semester I will do my homework. Promise. Back to Summer Preview... It allowed me to spend some time with some of my old friends that I hadn't seen in a while (namely, Candice). My first serious boyfriend was there as well. In years past, we never liked him much. Neither did our friends. Especially Candice. But every time I turned around, there he was, discussing with her the many different ways one can hurt people with a single judo chop. They both share a love of martial arts. And as I learned, there is no such thing as a judo chop in marital arts. He turned out to be a nice guy for the most part. But after an hour of talking to him, you realize he's still a total jackball sometimes. I wouldn't mind becoming his friend (he's one of three ex-boyfriends I never see or talk to), but I can't see myself hanging out with him on the weekends. Actually, my brother just told me that another ex of mine, David, will also be attending Creighton. Golly gee, I'm so lucky! I'm not worried though. There's over 900 students in my freshman class, and should I ever run into these boys, I've learned to compose myself with maturity. So those of you who live vicariously through my blog and me, get yourselves excited because we're grown up and goin' to college. Woot!
10:09 PM | Lisa
I am Seventeen, Going on Eighteen
I wonder if it's the joy of meeting a new person, or the development of a small crush that makes me like talking to the one-hour photo guy from Wal*Mart. He's 28 years old and looks a bit like an Arian Jesus. He's a complete computer nerd and has a daughter that is half my age. It's probably not appropriate for me to be developing a relationship with him, even if it's as harmless as a friendship. But it's really nice to have someone around to talk to that is on a somewhat higher level of intelligence than the rest of my friends. It's nice to converse with someone whose hobbies to not include hanging out with their buddies at the local mall. Not that the mall isn't fun, but I've always found pleasure in making friends with people older than me. They seem to understand me a little better than most. I'm one of those girls who's always wishing she was older than she was, always crushing on "older men," and always trying to act more mature than everyone else (except in the privacy of my local mall). I'm so hopeless sometimes.
10:50 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
Help me, is the new blogger really confusing or am I just a jackass? I hope its the 1st one, I have a serious craving to speak my mind but I''m too retarded to figure it out, HELP!!!!!!!!
Gina, again | 7.19.03 - 6:35 pm
Yes... The new Blogger IS the complete jackass. They say it''s supposed to be more ''user-friendly.'' Bah! Email any questions you have. Bryan wants me to come over to his house and show him all sorts of stuff. I can do the same for you. Just let me know when.
Lisa | 7.19.03 - 9:28 pm
Heil Jesus
doesn't matter | 7.22.03 - 12:27 pm
7.19.2003
June archives are up for your loading convenience.
3:51 PM | Lisa
7.20.2003
Where can I make a decent amount of money without working 60 hours a week? I need to get a new job. Baker's isn't giving me nearly enough hours, even if it's as a crappy cashier (which I did NOT apply for). Creighton is the most expensive university in the state. I already pay for everything myself, excluding house/utilities bills, a few groceries, and toilet paper. Now that we only have one income that is considerably less than it was before the dipshits at my dad's old work let the business fall through, I also have to try and help pay for college. All my uber-rich friends have parents who are doctors or own their own restaurants. No wonder life seems easier for them.
9:45 AM | Lisa
Dear Abby, Part 2
Does anyone know of a decent general practitioner around here? I hate to admit the fact that I'm nine days away from being 18, and I still go to a pediatrician. Waiting for half an hour or more in a waiting room full of crying babies and shouting toddlers causes a bigger headache than the one I had coming in. And due to my family's cancer-filled health history, I really need to get a mammogram. Pediatricians certainly don't offer this at their offices. Almost none of their patients even have boobs! I'm not looking forward to some stranger squeezing my breasts with a huge clamp, but it needs to be done. Does anyone know where I can go?
9:50 AM | Lisa
Well folks, now it looks like my dad is going to take my car away. I must be doing something wrong here. If I don't have a car, I can't keep my jobs. Tyffaney was supposed to ask her uncle about selling me a car for a pretty reasonable price, but I don't think she's really looked into it. I know he's going to help her friend Andrew, but that's about it. I wouldn't mind paying for a new car. I have a fair amount of money to use as a down payment, and if I had to make car payments every month, it would definitely regulate my personal spending, which is just what I need. I think I should also set aside some money each month for tuition to help out my dad. If I want to accomplish all this, I'm going to have to save face and ask for money when I need it. Normally, if I need anything from new socks to tampons to school supplies to lunch and dinner, I usually pay for it myself. I guess it wouldn't hurt to spend my earned money on more important necessities like school and a car. This is the part of becoming a grown up I'm really starting to dread.
9:21 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
either way, I have confidence that you can do this.
Jon | 7.20.03 - 11:58 pm
7.21.2003
You are a Pig! You are fun to be with and you absoutely LOVE food. And you enjoy life! :)
What Farm Animal Are You?
Yay for self-confidence (or, thanks to this quiz, lack thereof)!
2:04 AM | Lisa
For All You Peaceniks Out There
Yeah, we went to war. It sucked. People died. Our country got what it wanted, but it paid a heavy price. Do we really need to keep it going? I think not. The Bush Administration is meeting here in Omaha in a couple weeks to plan the proliferation of new weapons of mass destruction. What?! I think we're powerful enough as is. Do we really need to create more weapons, which will only lead to someone's death? Quite frankly, I think it's a bit scary to think about. We engaged in war in order to curtail the building of WMD in other countries. Now we want to go hypocritical on their asses and build more of our own? That's pure crap. Maybe I'm all fired up about the government because I just watched "The Majestic." Or maybe I really do feel strongly about this. I don't know yet. But here's my chance to find out: http://www.sos2003.com. Maybe I'll see you there.
2:33 PM | Lisa
In the Words of Anti...
First watch this.
Then look at this.
Stubbornism is a tough life to lead.
7:53 PM | Lisa
In the Style of Raymi...
Plus a Little Bit of Me
Today I ate Easy Mac for breakfast at I don't know what time but it was sometime in the afternoon because it was not long after that Trading Spaces came on. I cleaned out my car. There is always a lot of stuff in my car. Loads of trash and other funky memorabilia. Then I tried cleaning my room. It was a deep clean like the kind that facial cleansers give to your pores except my room does not have any pores just a window and a door. I emptied three moving boxes and filled one tub and half of a large trash can. The tub is full of things that I no longer want, and I am willing to give them away. The Slaydens have first dibs as promised. What is not taken will probably be dropped off at Goodwill because they sell a lot of cool stuff. Actually there is a photo album in the tub that I bought from Goodwill for approximately 59 cents. I think it would be funny to see it end up there again like the Cirlce of Life except there is no real life because a photo album is an inanimate object that Raymi might refer to as "meow meow." I don't really know Raymi or Anti but I know they are dating and they both keep blogs and I stumbled onto these blogs when I was surfing the internet at two in the morning because I have insomnia. My dad came home while I was cleaning my room but he did not bug me or anything which was nice because I had and still have a lot of work to do. I think I will be able to get it done this week because I don't have to work again until Thursday which sucks because my money runs out faster than my air supply. Gee, I hope that doesn't run out anytime soon. I took a break from cleaning and went downstairs and washed my hands because I was all dusty and smelly. Well actually I didn't smell that bad because I sprayed some perfume that I wore a long time ago and it reminded me of my life way back when and reminiscing is very pleasant for me. I made a salad for dinner and it had black olives and croutons and caesar dressing. I really like black olives. I like to put them on my fingertips and suck them off one at a time except I didn't do that this time because I bought pre-sliced olives because I don't like whole olives in my salads. I don't like pre-made salads like the kinds at restaurants because I am very meticulous and I have to break up each piece of lettuce until it is bite size so I don't get dressing all over my face when I go to take a bite with a fork. After dinner I made myself two Shirley Temples in a stolen martini glass which is ironic because I wasn't making martinis and as far as you know I didn't put any alcohol in my Shirley Temples. I got a letter from the AP people telling me what I already knew about my AP tests that I took in May but did not care to take. I munched on some cheez-its and told my dad he should be a gigolo because he could probably make good money even if it was from a pruny old grandma or a lady with no teeth and a mullet but he said no thanks. My brother did not join in this conversation because he is out of town for the week at a boy scout camp and thank goodness the month-long heat wave is dying down because they make the boys do manual labor out there and it would suck if someone passed out from heatstroke. My arm has been hurting all day because I slept funny and now I am sore and I really hate it when that happens. I'm not quite sure what I want to do with the rest of my day but I know I don't want to go out in public because I have acne and I am too lazy to put any makeup on or even drive my car. Maybe I will just dye my hair or something, who knows? I suppose if someone tried really hard they could persuade me to leave the house. As I was telling Tony, I would really like to just float around in the air for a bit like on a cloud but without going outside and he thought I wanted to get high but I said no I have never been high thank you very much. I just want to float.
8:02 PM | Lisa
I am Inspired. I Like to Write.
I am Naughty. I like The Cosby Show. I like Cheez-Its dipped in Chocolate.
I am Lazy. I do not like Hot Weather. I do not like High Heels.
I am Silly. I like to Read. I like to Sing.
I am Adorable. I do not like to Lose Raffles. I do not like Lip Gloss.
I am Intelligent. I like Lots of Mirrors. I like to Drive Fast.
9:20 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
I also like lengthy comments. Please share them with me.
Lisa | 7.21.03 - 11:51 pm
"Ah, the bittersweet nectar of the world's hatred..." she moaned as she sipped her grenadine.
I do believe I'm going to be ill.
i do not like it when people do not answer my questions i like it when people tell me the truth even if i lie to them in return i like it when people fall in love with me and i play them like a fiddle and i flirt with them when i want to and they give all their attention to me and i wonder if it is because i am a leo or if it is because i am purely evil so even if my heart belongs to someone else and i am completely and utterly in love with him to the point of obsession it is still nice to have someone around to play with because i get lonely here without him and it's not like i am doing anything terribly wrong because i exercise enough self control to remain faithful but sometimes it is nice to feel affection from another when you so rarely see it and i wish i could tell the world the truth but i could never do that at least not for quite some time because then everything would be ruined and i would not get what i want which is desperately to be happy and there is only one way i can see that happening so please help me be strong and upbeat and patient and let life work out in the end because thats all we really want from the world
11:11 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
you are a little sociopath, yep I got some of that in me also and for the same reason…really the cosby show? I like this, your blog I mean, how you write.
Gabe | 7.22.03 - 12:14 am
I''ll take that as a compliment. Thank you. I''ve been trying some different writing styles today. It''s been fun. Who are you?
Lisa |7.22.03 - 12:19 am
7.22.2003
I'm seven days away from being 18 and I'm not excited about it at all. My movie rental is almost a week late and I'm not in the mood to return it. The store called me with their automated guilt trip reminding me just how late my movie was and I told it to go fuck itself. I woke up late again, sat around waiting for Trading Spaces to come on, and made myself sick from too many Cheezits and Shirley Temples. We're out of Easy Mac, so I had to skip breakfast. I wonder how fast I'd be dead if I were living on my own because my diet really sucks and the only exercise I get is walking downstairs to the tv or upstairs to my computer. But I really don't give a shit about any of it right now. I'm getting too much sleep and I love it. I sang my heart out in the shower knowing that I'll never be a rock star or anything of the sort. I'm wearing both jeans and a dress today. If the girl at Java Joe's could pull it off, well fuck! So can I! The tag on my thong is making my ass itch, and my tongue is stained red with grenadine. I agreed to switch schedules with a girl at work because I could use the money, but for what I'm not sure yet. I'm staring at a puzzle piece I stole from Nick. Now he'll never be able to finish his Simpsons Mosaic. Muah ha ha ha. My Bobble-Head Jack is the coolest thing that ever kicked your ass, and just when I start to wonder what I ever saw in him, I fall in love with Seth all over again. He's never terribly romantic and scoffs at anything mushy. We have nothing in common. We just know how to put up with each other. He's an ass sometimes, but I wouldn't want him any other way. I think I will become a professional karaoke singer when I grow up. According to the majority, I grow up in seven days. I'm so not ready...
5:04 PM | Lisa
Have you ever heard the song "Meet Virginia" by Train? I wish someone would write a song like that about me.
5:09 PM | Lisa
7.23.2003
Election 2003 - Cast Your Vote!
Okay folks, it's time for a contest. Bryan and I, out of our insomnia-prompted boredom, went hard to work at designing a new title image for the site. There will be a contest to see who likes which one better. I suppose this will also let me know just how many people actually visit this site. The poll will be up for say...two weeks? Or until I get bored with it. Anyway, here are the two images. The poll is in the sidebar. Start voting!!
9:43 AM | Lisa
Yes, I realize the comment feature is down, but there's really nothing I can do about it. Be patient and I'm sure it will be up and running soon. Meanwhile, get your vote on!
P.S. Could somebody tape Trading Spaces for me? I have to work today.
(Just kidding. I'm not that obsessive.)
12:18 PM | Lisa
7.24.2003
last night.....lisa dreamed.....that she.....was dating.....a clown.
she also found.....her only pair.....of plain.....white.....underwear.
what.....a fucking.....weirdo.
10:57 AM | Lisa
7.25.2003
If the Klink Family doesn't get their act together, I'm going to have to switch over to HaloScan which will totally mess up my archives and any possible sequel to Phresh Phish (should that ever get edited and published). Things you can do to make me feel better: 1) IM me with comments - maybe I'll post them, 2) link me in your profile, on your website, whatnot - it looks like I could use some more publicity, 3) Get your vote on!
P.S. Little Debbie Grosses Me Out......A Lot
8:44 AM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
you are a link in my profile dude
Jacq | 07.25.03 - 4:35 pm
Woot! Guess who just got offered a job? If you didn't guess me, you're an idiot. As you all know I clean my dentist's office once a week. I was thinking about quitting Baker's when school starts, and Mina (dentist/boss) offered me a part-time job as her dental assistant. We'd be able to work around my class schedule, I'd probably get paid more, and I'd enjoy the job. It would include stuff like filing, sterilizing instruments, mixing materials, etc. It'd be a job I'd brag about :) Yeah so, let's hope my schedules don't conflict and I can get this job.
Baker's is already pissing me off - they scheduled me on my birthday, they scheduled me on Friday (which is the one day a week I told them I could not work), they scheduled me on Saturday, meaning I can't go to my cousin's birthday dinner. Blah. Maybe I can get Jackie to switch with me. I switched with her, after all. She owes me. I'll only miss my co-worker's. The rest of Baker's sucks.
12:29 PM | Lisa
Have no fear, Lisa is here!
She saves the day once again with her new comment feature. What an outstanding character! Show her the love by voicing your opinions much more often than you already do. She saw blogs get 40 comments on one entry! We can't let her down, can we? (Insert sound of crowd shouting "No!" here) That's right, men. Get the guts to say something.
Howfuckingcheesywasthat?
Leave your comments already.
Yeezus.
4:13 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
Just checkin
it out.
Lisa | 07.25.03 - 4:20 pm
you go girlie fly!!!!
Anonymous | 07.25.03 - 4:38 pm
John 3:16
Kilroy | 7.25.2003 - 7:11 pm
hello lisa l love you. just thought i would let you know that.
tyffaney | 07.25.03 - 8:27 pm
whoever said girlie fly rocks
Anonymous | 07.25.03 - 10:42 pm
7.26.2003
Last night was Tyffaney's surprise birthday party. We held it a week later than her birthday because all her friends were in the Dominican Republic last week. It was a lot of fun. I got to watch back-to-back episodes of "While You Were Out" - the Trading Spaces spinoff. And the present that I made her was the coolest. I painted a bulletin board (cause I'm really artsy) and covered it in tons of pictures of her and her friends. I'm telling you, it was the coolest! I got to see Bryan again, which was really nice. I wish I would have spent more time with him this summer now that we don't really hate each other and all. I went and hung out with Jacqueline which was really nice because she's like my biggest blog fan and I haven't really seen her since we graduated. We'll definitely be hanging out again because Jacq, you rock!
Because I walk around in flip-flops and I spent five years of my life walking barefoot on the cement pool deck for swim team, my feet are less than perfect. Basically they're just like, rough n' stuff. Which is normal, I guess. I put on some foot cream to make them and soft and silky and nice (whatever) and now my feet totally feel tingly. It's the coolest.
Fact: The skin on your feet is up to 50 times thicker than the skin on the rest of your body.
10:53 AM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
what did you do to your comments?how bout pee on an electric fence?
never did it but saw it once, that has got to be the worst.
gabe | 07.26.03 - 7:40 pm
I am thinking witty catch phrase and the pic of the kid peeing into the wind but that was not an option.
gabe | 07.26.03 - 7:43 pm
Holy Mother of....!!!
(aka "Crisis in the Kitchen")
Lisa almost burned down her new house tonight....
You all know what a huge fan of Easy Mac I am, despite how gross it actually can be. I came home from work, starving. However, we were out of Easy Mac, so I had to go with the normal kind - stovetop. You also know that I am a Trading Spaces junkie. So while immersed in an episode with some of my favorite designers, I totally forgot about the macaroni cooking on the stove! Doh!! I didn't realize it until I smelled smoke creeping into the living room from the kitchen. "Holy Mother of.... I'm such an idiot!" I turned on all the fans I could find and opened all the windows and doors. Surprisingly enough, no smoke alarms went off. Yuck... I can still smell burned noodle, and I'm all the way upstairs. Actually, it was more than burned noodle. It should have been called "Macaroni and
Fact: I have the strongest right arm in the entire world, which can be ideal in times of crisis.
9:02 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
hey dude. sorry about the mac and cheese tragedy. for any loss of food IS a tragedy. Later
candi | 07.27.03 - 12:35 am
7.27.2003
2:35 AM and my house still smells like burned shit. Nastay.
"The Breakfast Club" rocked! You guys have got to go to these shows. It's not your normal movie-going experience. People shout at the screen and stuff, but you LIKE it. I saw a bunch of Mercy girls there. During the lipstick scene I shouted down front to Maggie R. because...
Sophomore year we were in choir together, and we were getting ready for a performance. Maggie always wears lots of icky gooey lipstick, lipgloss, lip junk, whatever. She put some on, but we were about to go on. She had no pockets in her dress so she just stuck the lipstick down into her cleavage thinking it would be safe there until after we finished singing and dancing. Well it turned out we still had another five or ten minutes to go, so we started talking again. I looked down and realized Maggie's lipstick was sticking right out of her cleavage for all to see. "Uh Maggie...You might wanna ditch that before we go on." She laughed at the memory when I yelled at her from the back of the theater.
I went to the movie with my cousin Kate who is only four days younger than me (so Happy Birthday Kate!). I'm really glad I got to see her because we really haven't seen each other since Christmas or Easter or some sort of holiday, and I might not be able to make it to her birthday dinner. :( She's definitely someone you should know because there's just too many good qualities to her and you can only hope that some of them might rub off on you.
I was talking to my in-town stalker, Dave Bagby, tonight. I told him to quit being such a dork. I see him everywhere I go. "I'm not a stalker, I swear!" Yeah, right. Who do I see not one hour later at the same movie as me?? Dave Gag-me. You know, I really wouldn't mind being his friend or anything, but sometimes the stuff he says just really annoys the hell out of me. I dunno. I guess it is somewhat flattering to have a stalker....even if he's in denial.
P.S. The schedule for my weekly movie ventures is now posted in the sidebar. Feel free to join me anytime! :)
2:37 AM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
holler! i loathe chick flicks too
Kat | 07.27.03 - 2:41 am
I like tenenbums and rushmore and bottle rockets I. I don't know how but I missed the movie list until just now.
gabe | 07.27.03 - 10:46 pm
Am I Worthy?
I am a thief. No a copycat. No a borrower. I don't know! If I see a good idea that works, why not use it for myself? It's not like I claim credit for the original thought, right? Yeah so fuck it. Anyway, according to HumanForSale.com, I am worth exactly $1,684,860.00. Looking at some of the most expensive people listed, and comparing them to some of the greatest geniuses of our time, I think somebody lied about their IQ. The point is to be honest with yourself. I'm far from perfect, and I'm not afraid to admit my faults. I'm a screwup. I'm a showoff. I'm overweight. I'm impatient. I'm lethargic. I waste my money. I procrastinate. I am selfish. I don't give a damn. But you know what? I'm also attractive, funny, smart, creative, generous, outgoing, brave, compassionate and talented. I'm annoying, but you can't help falling in love with me. So fuck it, right?
2:34 PM | Lisa
Amen to That!
"And now, a word to the wired: E-mail is no excuse for lousy English.
Granted, virtual writing is usually more informal than writing in the "real" world. But informal doesn't mean incoherent -- or it shouldn't. Unfortunately, much of the writing you see in cyberspace (and e-mail isn't the only culprit) barely qualifies as English. The words are chosen with little or no thought. The grammar is a mess. The punctuation is either absent or in your face. As for spelling, it's hit-or-miss -- usually miss. No wonder the whole point of an e-mail is often lost in transmission.
Don't bother rounding up the usual suspects. Even people who are normally careful about their English may throw the rules out the window when they go online. Maybe they don't think of e-mail as writing. Maybe they don't realize that good English is just as important online as off.
In fact, misunderstandings are more likely in an e-mail than in a letter or a phone call or a face-to-face conversation. The speed, the brevity, the disengagement of online writing all conspire to muddle your message. And the short attention span of the wired reader only makes things worse.
What's more, the virtual world is full of strangers, people who know you only by your words. Sure your best friend will overlook a few misspellings or lapses in grammar. But people you've never met will judge you solely by what they see on their computer screens. To them, you are what you write.
In short, online writing needs all the help it can get. Good English is clear English. It's efficient, precise, sensible, economical, sometimes even beautiful. And that's just as true in e-mail as it is in snail mail -- or any other kind of writing.
E-mail that's hard to understand -- ambiguous, poorly worded, misspelled, unpunctuated -- takes only an instant to send but forever to decipher. So e-mail unto others as you would have them e-mail unto you.
That means you don't call time-out when you log on. Such niceties as grammar spelling, and punctuation do matter online, plus a few more besides. Here are some things for the wired writer to consider before clicking Send...."
~ Patricia T. O'Conner, Woe Is I
6:01 PM | Lisa
Due to some freak allergic reaction, I have now covered the majority of my body in Benadryl Gel. I have what looks like a million bug bites, and they all itch like crazy. Let us hope I don't scratch myself to embarassment at work.
7:10 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
hey! cool blog! i know how you feel that happened to me last week. not cool!! hopefully it'll end soon.
Kena | 07.27.03 - 7:15 pm
that's what I am taling about
I like that,
I have an eye that is a rollover to for navigation is you what it
gabe | 07.27.03 - 10:41 pm
I do not understand what you just typed.
But I'm sure it was profound...somehow
Lisa | 07.28.03 - 12:04 pm
7.28.2003
I fucking hate chocolate. I hate candy bars with chocolate. I hate chocolate ice cream. I hate chocolate syrup and chocolate sprinkles and chocolate pudding. I only like chocolate milk. And even then, I'm very picky about the brand. I can't stand the thought of all that concentrated sugar settling down onto my teeth, causing massive cavities and unbelievable pain. I don't know how to end this paragraph, but I really just felt like shouting that I HATE CHOCOLATE!!!
Except I can't shout because everyone is asleep and I am just that nice.
1:04 AM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
I happen to sort of like chocolate, but I don't like milk chocolate at least not right now as a silly vegan.
Jon | 07.28.03 - 2:32 am
you are NOT a vegan!!!
You keep cheating and quite frankly it is an unhealthy lifestyle.
You were born an omnivore,
so act like one already.
Lisa | 07.28.03 - 10:05 am
you know, maybe that freaky "allergic reaction" is due to the fact that your body is chocolate deficient! you could melt it and suck it through a straw... then it wouldn't affect your pearly whites so much
I just can't imagine a life without chocolate
candi | 07.28.03 - 11:47 am
are you suggesting I start eating meat again or something, silly woman?
Jon | 07.29.03 - 12:15 am
ermmmm, I take that back, I think I'm done with being vegan
Jon | 07.29.03 - 7:00 pm
Naked. Wet. Covered in suds.
That's a phrase I stole from Jess because it creates imagery, and in Creative Writing I learned that imagery is a good thing.
Today during my shower a big, black spider fell down from the ceiling right in front of me and landed on the porcelain floor. The proximity of the creepy creature to my naked, slippery body was not at all pleasant. After futile attempts to drown the sucker I finally squished it with a washcloth.
When I was a kid my dad told me that it is not right to kill bugs when they are outside because that is their home, and they're really not hurting anything. But when they invade your home, it is every man or bug or man-bug hybrid (See "The Fly" starring Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis) for himself.
I do not need any more itchy bug bites right now. I am covered in red spots and I cannot stop scratching them and I feel like dying, but not really because I am not yet ready to die. The thought of death before one has lived a considerably full life saddens me.
12:38 PM | Lisa
What my world needs now, besides love, sweet love
Today is my Aunt Deanna's birthday. Tomorrow is my birthday. Normally I don't have wish lists because I buy everything for myself. But just in case some of you out there desperately want to get me something, here's a list of stuff I could think of off the top of my head. Maybe it'll serve as my future shopping list. I put down prices 'n' stuff, but I really don't expect anything except a smile or an e-mail. Yeah so...whatever.
Lisa's Birthday Wish List
-- A haircut by Monique, $11 at Capitol
--
-- Light up shoes for adults, size 9, $20 at Walmart
-- A digital camera or webcam, prices vary
-- A computer desk, $60 at Target
-- The matching file cabinet, also at Target
-- Picture frames, $3-20 at Hobby Lobby
-- Clear thumbtacks, $2 wherever
-- "Circle of Friends" correspondance book, $10 at Borders
-- Sprial CD tower, $10 at Target
-- Various CD's of course
-- Black and white postcards, $1.25 somewhere downtown
--
--
-- Funny cards with heartfelt messages, $.99 at Walgreens
-- NO smelly stuff, it will be given away
3:06 PM | Lisa
I am a listmaker. I make lists for anything and everything. I stick these lists in huge piles of papers and files and folders in hopes of separating and going through important paperwork. However, the lists hide in the piles for months and months only to be rediscovered six months later and subsequently stuck into another disorganized pile to be sorted through later.
Reasons Why I Am Broke This Week:
- Woe is I by Patricia T. O'Conner
- Writers on Writing: Collected Essays from The New York Times
- A Girl, In Parts by Jasmine Paul
- Erotica Universalis, Volume II by Gilles Néret
- The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
- Ice Hair Spiker Colorz in "Tar Black" and "Trip'd Out Pink"
- An 8"x10" artist canvas
- Two 8"x10" artist canvas panels
- Two Blick Academic synthetic paint brushes
- A set of 10 pressed charcoal sticks
- The unabridged edition of Gray's Anatomy to aid in life drawing
7:06 PM | Lisa
7.29.2003
The Big One Eight
Today is my birthday and I am not terribly excited. The first person to say Happy Birthday to me was Brian N. because we were at the movies around midnight. He is back in town for only a short while and I wanted to spend some time with him before he left again. I have always had a small crush on him, but I've never let it get in the way of our friendship. He's a great guy and I'm lucky to have him as a friend. We spiked his hair black for camouflage's sake because after seeing "Bad Boys II" we went TPing. I am so good at TPing. Juvenile as it was, I had a lot of fun. Despite the artist in me, I had forgotten how much I love action movies. I don't really know what else to say. I'm 18. I did not buy cigarettes at the store. I did not make a visit to Dr. John's Adult Emporium. I did not register to vote. I woke up late and watched HBO for an hour. The house was empty and I did not even get so much as a post-it note on the fridge saying "Happy Birthday." I'm feeling very blasé about the whole matter really. Seth had better call me tonight though, because he is one person I do expect to wish me a 'Happy Birthday' and hopefully an 'I love you,' too.
11:38 AM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
Happy Birthday!
Jon | 07.29.03 - 6:59 pm
When I turned 18 6 months ago, I decided to become a pedofile!
Bryan | 07.31.03 - 12:29 pm
Of all the days to be "sulky" why did it have to be today? I'm supposed to be enjoying my birthday, yet here I am sitting in my room with nothing to do but surf the internet. Doesn't anyone care that today is supposed to be my special day? Where the fuck is MY surprise party? Or what about all those times you say, "Oh yeah, we should definitely hang out sometime!" Well here's you're big fucking chance and you're blowing it. It's not like I'm asking you to spend all your money on me. I just don't deserve to be sitting around by myself. It's a milestone in my life and no one gives a damn. Well you know what? You all can just go fuck yourselves, and the next time you need something from me, don't bother asking. I'm sick of being there for everyone and never getting anything in return.
I feel like shit.
8:59 PM | Lisa
7.30.2003
Typical Day With A Twist
Went to Mina's today. Things are looking up as far as this new job goes. Hope it stays that way. I worked at Baker's pretty much all day, and though I don't completely hate it, a change would be nice. And anything to stay away from those awful new uniforms. Blech.
Created a new character today. Actually, I took an old doodle and drew a bunch of different facial expressions and sidekick characters. It could be a pretty kickass comic if I decide to continue putting effort into it.
Started painting on canvas today. It was a first for me. I copied the style of Drew, but at least I'm giving him props. I'd show you guys a picture, but my scanner is down.
Does anyone know if my dad still reads this blog? I'd like to know if I still have to watch what I say on here. I've got plenty to talk about, but some of it just can't be mentioned in the presence of authority figures.
Um, yeah....
7.31.2003
Last night I discovered that I am not having an allergic reaction at all. Instead, I have a million plus two chigger bites. It's my fault really since I laid down in Jacq's backyard one night. Smart move dumbass.
People keep asking me if I feel any older now that I've turned 18. At first I didn't, but after last night I guess I do a tiny bit. I went to see my friend Tim, but I didn't leave my house until sometime after midnight. I felt older for doing my own thing, even in the late hours of the night. I felt like a kid when I lied to my dad about where I was. I didn't do anything illegal or immoral, yet I still lied. I'm such a fuck.
I watched "Top Secret," which is probably the dumbest movie I have ever seen, but it was still pretty funny. I'm sure it's a film Val Kilmer would like to erase from his record.
I learned how to make fractals....sort of. They are pretty trippy, but as long as you have a good color scheme, just about every design is aesthetically pleasing.
I also compared sketches with Tim. He is a much better artist than I am, but I still think I am pretty good. I was thinking about creating an album for my artwork, but until our scanner starts working again, there will be no images for quite some time.
12:04 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
i cheated your poll so i could win too, BONG!
Bryan | 07.31.03 - 12:45 pm
Lisa has proven to be a censor, taking my right away to comment on her blog, i feel this takes away from the spontanaity of the site.
Bryan | 07.31.03 - 1:58 pm
I only deleted some of the disgusting comments you posted because you made my blog look like a joke, and to me it is not .
Reading everyone else's blog, I see tons of relevant comments from people who have something to say other than "Sould I worry if I start bleeding uncontrollably from my anus?"
Thanks, but no thanks.
Lisa | 07.31.03 - 5:15 pm
I changed up the site a little bit. I played with "Eye Candy," making each pic a link to a relevant or just plain cool website for all you boredom-smothered duds out there. I know of two people who will visit each and every site. Everyone else will just blow it off because, well, that's what you guys seem to do. Admittedly, and pathetic as it is, I put more effort into making this site fun for you guys than for myself. But yeah... Updates are around.
6:54 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
You really spruced this site up.Good job
p.s. sorry bout all your bug bites
Jacq | 08.01.03 - 1:41 pm
I reeeeeally want to get my hair cut. I picked out a style, and my hair has been dyed a purplish reddish thingamacolor. So will someone please lend me $15 and an hour of free time? And someone tell 'Monique' to get her ass back in town from Colorado. I'm dying here.
8:43 PM | Lisa
In Reference to Chocolate Easter Bunnies
The Bunny, the Bunny... Whoa, I ate the Bunny.
I didn't eat my soup or my bread, just the Bunny.
The Bunny, the Bunny... Oh! I love the Bunny.
But now I feel sick in the head from the Bunny.
I didn't eat my salad; I didn't eat my steak.
I had too much candy, got a tummy ache!
I need to eat good food to help me to grow.
I'll obey my momma, 'cause she loves me so.
Yeah, I'll go to church. And I'll go to school.
That stuff is important and I ain't no fool!
I don't want no pickles, I don't want no honey,
I just want a plate and a fork and a Bunny.
I don't want a tissue when my nose is runny,
I just want a plate and a fork and a Bunny.
I don't want to tell you a joke that is funny,
I just want a plate and a fork and a Bunny.
I don't want to play on a day that is sunny,
I just want a plate and a fork and a Bunny.
"Veggie Tales" so rules.
9:30 PM | Lisa
SHOUT OUT
hey lisa babe, i have that episode on VHS, you should come over some time and watch it, i love veggietales
Bryan | 08.01.03 - 5:23 pm
Nope, I dont read your blog
Dad | 08.01.03 - 9:54 pm
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